moved!

as of this post, this blogger blog will no longer be in use. please relink to:

http://mezzogal.livejournal.com.


thanks for following my blog for so long.
see you all at the new place!

grrr...!

changed blogskin in a last ditch attempt to regain the sight of my blog. i think it's not working. i STILL can't see it!!!!! *tear hair in frustration*
(thanks for telling me that you see it, joseph)
maybe it's really time to move to MY BACKUP BLOG.

anyway. between my post just now and my post now, i've written 1000 words for 3216. muahahahaha! feels like such an achievement. still a LONG way to go though (at least 1000 more words). but i feel like it's all sound and noise with no substance. (attempts at shakesphere fall flat) this is yet another module that i expect to fail spectacularly. due on monday.

btw, i got 29/70 for 2102. don't tell the parents.

anyway, it's all the combined frustrations and MY blog shutting ME out is the last straw. *pout*

church in an hour. dang i hate my life.

to end on a better note...the movie i was getting is now at 83%. yay! can watch it over the weekend. :D



mood: sianz
listening to: nothing.

question

can you see my blog?

cos when i type in the url, it doesn't load for me.
pls msg me if you can see it.
(for god's sake, don't tag cos there's no way i can see the tag.)

thanks!!

stuff

and i'm back with another whirlwind post.

saw in the newspapers, people complaining about how those students who can qualify for the top JCs decide to go to poly instead and deprive those with not so good marks from the place. for instance, someone complained that her daughter did not get ANY of the top 6 choices of poly course that she opted for because higher scorers was spoiling the market and pushing the entrance requisites up. i feel like i agree with these potential poly people. there is a reason why JCs are there. and that's for those people with the top marks in sg. there's also a reason why the polys are there, and that is for those who don't score as well. same as there's a reason why the ITEs are there. now i'm not condemning those students who decide to go to the poly when they qualify for JC. it is their choice after all. but i feel that, you do well enough, stop hogging places meant for those who don't. i know i'd get real pissed off when someone who should be in a better place decides go come to MY spot in a worse off place. am i making sense? it's like, a multimillionaire deciding that i want to live in a one room HDB flat in macpherson estate. like, hello? you can SO afford to buy a condo in some high class exclusive area, why are you depriving the poor plebians of a roof over their heads?

sure, they say that it's all a competition. if the potential poly students want to get into the poly, they have no choice but to fight those JC defectors (for want of a better word). so they are forced to work harder and get grades that match up to those who qualified for a JC. what, i ask you, is the damn point of that?? there are reasons why a person is labelled a poly student or a JC student, and that is precisely because of the marks. sometimes, most times in fact, the poor guy just can't get the required marks. no matter how hard he tries. why are you forcing him to die and give up a precious spot to someone who can get much better?

then again, yesterday's papers interviewed some teens about this, about why they choose the poly over the JC. they say that the JC doesn't have the course they are interested in, there's less stress in poly etc etc. so, i say, it's high time that the govt revamps the JC curriculum. it's obvious that the JC curriculum is useless to youths these days. and i completely agree btw. once it's becoming a disturbing trend that the top scorers in the cohort are choosing to abandon the route that is supposedly mapped out for them, that is, JC then uni, it's time to rethink the system. i've said it before, and i'll say it again. what use is an A-level cert??? how can it compare against a poly diploma? JCs have to update their system and make it more relevant to youths. else, this trend is not going to go away anytime soon.

moving on. something else i saw in the papers today. this is regarding the trend of so-called emo teens. it's talking about another disturbing trend about teens who subscribe to this 'emo' outlook. what's disturbing is that, this emo trend includes a very negative and self destructive outlook on life, which leads to teens slashing their wrists and engaging in self mutilating behaviours (emotional and physical). when i read this article, it immediately brought to mind a friend that i know. i may consider myself depressed, but i don't see myself as being emo. whereas, this friend, from what i heard recently, (haven't seen her cos she hasn't been coming to school), is engaging in these emo behaviours. and i think that well, it's stupid lah. yes, life sucks, life is cruel, the world is cruel. but that's life. as much as death seems like a very tempting and easy solution, it's a bit too final, no? life sucks but there's also parts of life that completely rock. "it is short, but it is wide." whatever happens now will pass.

recently, i've been playing with this thing called 2nd life. one of the tag lines of it came to mind when i was reading about the emo teens, which is, "get a second life!" *rolls eyes* anyway, did i tell you how much i love NM? i should have majored in it sia! anyway, the only reason i was playing with 2nd life is cos daniella decided that she wanted to hold this week's tutorial in the 2nd life virtual world. so, been spending the weekend, or parts of the weekend, trying to get used to the programme. I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!! ok, it's fun after a while, but it's complex to use, to me at least. my biggest problem with it is the way you control the avatar. i get really dizzy after like 5 minutes of use. it's hard to control the thing. or maybe it's just my comp lagging. cos it doesn't seem to respond well to my keyboard clicks. oh and, i realised that i've been going on and on and not explaining what exactly is 2nd life to people who may not know. and i know people won't know cos i had no idea what it was until recently. anyway, 2nd life is like this online 'game' where you create an avatar character of yourself and kind of 'live' in a virtual space. i think it's like the sims (having never played sims either).

was playing it yesterday and was chatting with this guy from denmark, whose avatar was called Rigor Heron. btw, in case you're on 2nd life, my avatar is Finduilas Fimicoloud. talk to me k!! i'm lonely on my 2nd life. anyway, random. ok, anyway, in 2nd life, you can chat with the other avatars who are well, real people. i think that's one problem that i have yet to overcome. cos i'm not used to talking like that in real time to people i've never met before. usually these kind of games, like myst or something, it's all pre-programmed. but this is like, REAL!! it's fun, but i've not yet gotten to the realisation that people on the other end don't know who i am. so, it's like, yesterday, i was talking with that Rigor Heron, and i accidently pressed something and i kind of, got teleported away from the 'conversation'. so i kinda feel bad, like i just walked out on someone kind of feeling. never mind. like i said, i gotta get it through my head that the person on the other end is not knowing me and the online me can behave differently from the offline me. and i don't know what i'm talking about, so i better stop right here.

oh ya, i found some short stories that i wrote years ago (like in sec4 or something) while clearing my cupboard. one day when i'm freer, probably i'll type them out and post them here. see how my writing style has changed since then. it's cool, reading my own writing years later. :D



mood: ok
listening to: rhythm of the night - valeria

still alive

just to let the world know, i'm still alive! haven't been killing myself over whatever shit that comes my way. just been busy and lazy to blog updates. and probably by the time i get round to blogging, it'll be WAY overdue and therefore of no value to blog. whatever.

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless, aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, it's only seed

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who wont be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dyin'
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong

Just remember, in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love
In the spring, becomes the rose

mood: lazy
listening to: the rose - bette midler

a bittersweet childhood myth

An acronym that I heard yesterday but very seldomly used now that I have grown up. B.F.F. stands for Best Friends Forever. Rings a bell? I think I last used this term in Primary 6. What best friends forever? They are all a lie. This is why I have stopped believing in B.F.F.

I really wondered what happened Mei Jun after we left primary school. I have totally lost contact with her and I have no news about her ever since. She sat behind me during examinations and we loved doing many things under the sun together. Singing, dancing, gossiping, eating....

We were really very very very good friends before our friendship soured over something very petty. Something probably very trivial that I can't even remember it now. It was a regret. Now, I still wonder how she is doing in her own independent life. How does she look like now? I will never forget her photogenic smile and rosy cheeks...

i saw the above posted on a friend's blog today. "Best friends forever". do people really believe that these days? i stop and look at all the people i've met over the years...the "best friends" i've made. where are they now? not a single one of my best friends now were with me from the beginning. everyone i know now are people who've only known me a few years. friendship was so trivial but eternal back in the primary school days. you sit and eat recess with someone, play with them for a while, and suddenly, you're best friends forever and ever. but come some little thing and the infamous "i don't friend you anymore." how little friendship was those days.

today i read this post from a friend. she's one of those whom i've known from the beginning. in fact, she was my first real "best friend". but now, the only contact i have with her is through her blog and maybe a christmas card once a year. she was my best friend. but i don't know her anymore. mei jun. she was another of my "best friends". the three of us did some crazy stuff together. but immediately after leaving CCPS, i don't know what happened to her. she went to a new school in sengkang and that was the last i heard of her. i wonder.

my friends now. the latest "best friends" i've lost. jacqueline and zheng ying. two of them were my 'sworn sisters'. how ironic. where are we now? we haven't spoken in ions. we haven't met in eternity. we who had pledged to be best friends forever. what happened to us?

sometimes i'm scared to think of the future. primary school was 10 years ago. now is the future of then. look what happened to 'forever'. how about 10 years from now? 20 years from primary school. will the friends i know and love now still be in my life? even now, we're in the same school but we barely get together anymore. i guess that's the cruelty of life. we're all bound to be alone. relationships are all temporal. and in the end, you die alone.

i miss those days of primary school. when you could say, "you're my best friend", "you're my sister" and really believe that it would be forever. the sweet innocence and faith that anything could last forever. i miss that innocence. now, reality is that life is cruel and the world is harsh. in the essentially capitalist world, nothing is yours forever. there will always be something coming that rips away the thing you cherish the most, shattering your childhood innocence forever. that's the only forever. destruction. what's broken can never be fixed. but what is whole can always be broken.

friends forever is a myth perpetuated since childhood. a sad bittersweet thing tied to innocence that's lost when we grow up.



mood: sad. (yes, irene is officially stressed and depressed)
listening to: lord of the dance - enya



p.s. i don't want sympathy. i just want a true 'forever'.

quick one

tired to update. so just point form...

varsity voices 2007
nus choir dinner with new president n VP
EL3216 damn presentation and paper
EL2102 damn 19 chapter test
Holy blood holy grail


yup. elaborate if i feel like it later on.

updates!

first week back in school after the mid sem 'break'. what break i ask u? but since i've already complained about the 'break' in my previous post, i shall not waste space complaining about it again.

mid terms this week. first was NM2216 presentation, which was the slackest of the slackest slack module i have this sem lah. muahahaha! mainly, because, the way the tutorials were structured was such that it forced all groups to work on their projects continually, as in, every tutorial we have to do a small presentation to show how we're progressing on our project. well, as i think i've complained about before, daniella doesn't seem to like ours, so we were doing about the teleportation idea. and like i also said, it's slack, cos i already presented the tutorial before the break. damn scary lah, they last minute just say, ok, irene present! times like these, i thank Juice. anyway, since i did my part already, i didn't need to do much at the final presentation. just the discussions which we did the day before during daniella's boring lecture. then the next day tutorial, karen and charmaine presented and that was it. finished the project for NM. haha! i think we did alright. true, our dream machine was more of dream than machine. :D but think about that group that suddenly decided to change dream machine at the final presentation.

anyway, then, was EL3254. damn i was real nervous about that one. cos i have no idea what to study for it. absolutely freaking no idea. so all i did was read the readings, of which i found out that i was missing one. all that stuff that dr lazar was doing the past half sem...all seems so non-linguistic. i have no idea what this module has to do with english. it's so much literature to me. anyway, the test was not too bad. thank god i forced myself to study transitivity analysis. the question came out lah. she made us analyise a bit of an article to answer the question. i mean, ok, i got the term wrong. the "saying" process, i wrote as "speech" instead. do you think she'd penalise me? it's essentially the same thing ya? but i think i got a question wrong through sheer carelessness. chih lin told me about it. cos there was a question that asked which statements were incorrect. and i think i picked out the correct ones instead. *bangshead* the last question was scary. she gave us that estee lauder perfume ad and asked us questions about it using the left-right framework. and the scary thing was, she only gave us two lines writing space. so, if i do a short answer, it looks way too short for the space, but if i do a long answer, it's too long! so i don't know how lah. just crapped up. luckily i remembered that left is given and right is new. think i did ok for it.

and then. EL3201. that was the only one that was most like a test. dr soh made us shift the chairs into rows like in an exam hall. the test itself wasn't too bad. i still don't understand the binding theory and it came out!! so i crapped up an answer. like that one about epithets. i say that the binding theory doesn't apply to that. ok, it's so obvious that my knowledge in that area is flawed. however, i think i did alright in the other sections. dr kim was a very good lecturer last sem, at least i got thorough training in the basics. scary about this is that it's a closed book module. so i can't have my magic dictionary with me to look up the word classes if i don't know them. :p oh well, can't rely on dictionary forever.

EL3216. i haven't even started the take home quiz yet. dr ooi was saying he got a shock when he received feedback emails from students who told him that when they looked at the quiz, their lives flashed before their eyes and they realised that they have not understood a single thing in the entire first half sem of the class. i kind of emphatise with them. i didn't die when i saw the quiz, but i was like, *jawdrops* i have no idea how to start. so, dr ooi was forced to guide us along the analysis during the yesterday's lecture. i feel like i shouldn't have taken this module. i shouldn't have been stupid enough to drop EN and keep this. i'm the most lagging for this. the take home quiz, the mini research presentation, the individual paper+presentation, the group presentation. all have not really gotten far. so, :p.

anyway, at least, CHOIR IS COMING TO AN END!!!!!!!! muahahahahahahaa!!! the concert is this coming sunday. three more days of torture, then freedom! finally can go home on mondays and thursdays when the sun is still shining and the hour is still a single digit. i'm not going to be in the com next year. no way. this year is more than enough thank you. btw, the presidental election is going to be next thursday, which means that the com is also changing by then. yay! haha! i feel a bit bad lah, being so happy about it now. but, i don't care. it's been a bad year for me. glad for it to be over.

signed up for residence in school. RVR, PGP, Kuok foundation house. hope i get one of them. it'd be interesting to stay in school. since i've given up hope on my SEP... might as well try something else. :D haha! not going to talk about SEP here yet, but i'm sure they rejected me yet again. bleah.



mood: ok
listening to: nothing

holiday blues

warning: bitching blog

well, not really blues as in blues. it's supposed to be the middle of my mid semester break. but here i am in school again. it doesn't feel like a break at all lor. nus really cheat people of their holidays. and they wonder why the graduates don't donate money back to their 'alma mater'. one week mid sem break which we 辛辛苦苦 gotten from the school higher ups. imagine, last time, the supposed one week break was in reality 4 days long cos sunday is included in the week. *rolls eyes* anyway, now, they cheat us even more. the break was from last saturday till this coming sunday. saturday was CNY eve. sunday, monday, tuesday are CNY public holidays. *闯墙* so in the end, we only have in reality, half a week of holiday. AND immediately after the so-called holiday, mid term exams start. grr... let me say again: and they still wonder why graduates don't give money back to nus. i heard that ntu's mid term break is NEXT week. meaning, they get the proper CNY public holidays, THEN the official school break. how lucky is that?! sigh. haven't done any work so far this hols. and i think the rest of today is kinda going to be a wasted time.

tried to do EL3216 readings yesterday. I SPENT 2 BLOODY HOURS ON A SINGLE READING!!!!! i really did. and i wasn't like fooling around or what. i was really reading. it was like, i read and read and read and it doesn't seem to end. and then i look at the clock and it's like, what da hell?! where did the time go??! you know how depressing that is? it didn't help that all the other 3216 readings are just as thick. so, didn't accomplish anything yesterday beyond that one reading. this is unfortunately the module that i lag the most. in readings and practice. unfortunately also, this is the module with the heaviest workload. sad to say, the only module which i am more or less up to date with is nm2216, which is an 'extra' module. die lah! and i still don't find the motivation to study or do anything. i got the strong urge to hibernate right now. life is totally spinning out of control. i should go talk to ELIZA. haha!

next week is gonna be busy. monday music ministry meeting. tuesday, nm2216 mid term project presentation. wednesday el3254 mid term test. thursday el3201 test. sunday varsity voices concert. i wish i have a universal remote control to let me fast forward to the monday next. let me say again how much i hate this school.

church was weird last night also. tian didn't appear till 10minutes before mass was going to start, at which time i was panicking that i was gonna have to replace her. (i hadn't practiced the songs and they were difficult songs to me) anyway, she came, thank god. so that was the first weird glitch. after that. for the record, let me say this: the missal clearly stated, the penitential rite and gloria are omitted. despite this, fk started saying the 'i confess'. so me decided i better prepare the kyrie just in case. lucky i did, cos after his 'i confess', he gave me this look, so had to start playing it. dammit. at least, he didn't do the gloria. i tell you, of all the mass parts, the one i hate playing most is gloria. whoever invented such a long twisted and convulated *&%$#. no words to describe it. so that was glitch 2. and then! andrea's psalm. the organ began acting up. it was already sounding weird in the first place, now it was absolutely impossible to control. the sound was so erratic. as in, the sound, sometimes got, sometimes don't have. the loud-soft was not controllable. so i think i screwed up her psalm cos the organ sound wasn't good. glitch 3.

then, the imposition of ashes. we were going to sing "ashes", of which the animator obviously didn't know we were going to sing. note to self: remind andrew and andrea that the animators need to be spoonfed. so ok, glitch 4 was our fault cos the animator didn't know to announce the song. THEN!!!! screwiest of the screwy night. after the imposition, supposed to be the creed and the intercessions then the offertory. SOMEBODY decided to do the offertory collection first and told the wardens to come and start the collection before the intercessions. so left poor choir in a lurch...to sing the offertory song, or not to sing? is this supposed to be the offertory anyway? glitch 5. so we sat in confused silence. after the wardens finished their collection, THEN he decides to do the intercessions. and then, he starts the offertory rites. *wantstoslaphimhard* so we just did one offertory song. rest of the mass was more or less ok. apart from the screwy organ which makes me almost unable to hear the congregation at all, except during the 'our father'. it's like, i can hear bits and pieces here and there, but the rest, i have to imagine and fill in the gap myself.

and to complain about the behaviour of the animators again. why is it that the higher they are in seniority, the blurrer they are? for instance, this one during the ash wed mass. AND, omg, i'm still so angry about this one. last sunday. after communion he went up and announced the thanksgiving song. i can see there's wardens getting ready for second collection at the back, so i don't start the choir yet, cos usually they'll announce that there's a second collection for whatever. BUT this guy didn't say anything. so i assume, ok, you don't want to say anything about the collection, fine. so choir starts singing. halfway through the song, fr paul signals timeout, choir stop singing. so we stutter to a halt. and wait while fr makes the announcement about the second collection. then when he's done then we continue the song from the halfway point. fucking cheebye lah! you know how much it looked like this was screw up was choir's fault??! for the record, the announcements are supposed to be done by the animator. AND choir gave the animator time to announce whatever he likes to announce. BUT HE DIDN"T ANNOUNCE. AND!!!! it's not as if he's a newcomer to the church. he is/was the head of the church PPC!

why don't he be more professional? this is such amateurish behaviour lah. if you're not sure of sequence, ask someone for help. other animators are not ashamed to ask for guidance when they need it. all this reflects so badly upon the church lor. (see, just blogging about it now makes me really mad) it's frustrating. and they also wonder why the youths are all leaving the church. i'm so tempted to leave also lah. what's the point in staying? it's really banging my head against a brick wall. i mean, i don't understand it. can't they see that it's obviously so...so...creating such a bad impression? sigh. like that proverb says: grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, and wisdom to know the difference.

and then, problems with cfa. i'm tired to tell the whole story here. but the gist of it is that we apparently didn't return the studio entrance key since last thursday. so cfa was nagging us. so hunting up and down, doing detective work about who last had the key and all that shit. finally we found the key. it was with a certain committee member who, god knows why the key's in his hands in the first place, forgot to return it and happily carried it around till now. please lah! you're not kids. i shouldn't need to nag. sick of it already lah. thank god, the year for choir is ending soon. can step down soon. this one year doing logistics and the church choir has convinced me of one thing: i am not a leader and should never even try to take up leadership positions. it'll only end badly.

sigh.

let's talk about more happy stuff ya? i borrowed the book "the prestige" from the library. yup, the one that the movie is based on. btw, i also bought the movie. :D cos the bro wanted to buy his transformers vcds, i saw this one and convinced mum to let me buy it. bought the 'phantom of the opera' vcd also. haha! anyway, back to the book. I LOVE IT! finished it in 2 days. rather, that was the one i brought to malaysia (if you could read my chinese blogging). i didn't really understand it the first time, but the second time reading made a lot of things so much clearer. cos this is one of those books where, the fates of so many people are intertwined and it's like, a series of flashbacks intercut with the present. so for eg, the front part of the book reads like the guy is schizophrenic. but, by the end of the book, i understand why he writes like that, and reading it again, i finally understand what he was trying to do. (hard to be more explicit without giving away the plot) anyway, i think the book is different from the movie. haven't watched the movie yet, but the book itself...the secret of the illusion in the end is jaw-droppingly wow! but the ending is a little...hanging. one of those unresolved mysteries. love it. go read! i give it 4 out of 5 stars. good book!

been watching american idol. there's 2 asian people this time. sanjaya malakar and paul kim. sadly, neither are much good though. i predict that sanjaya is not going to survive this round. his performance last night was a complete mess. everyone else was alright. it was like, the byword for the night was 'showmanship'. so showy last night was. not very spectacular performances though. the only person that i can picture in the top 5 at least is chris sligh. the fat guy with afro hair. everyone else was just average. the girls performances tonight. gonna be fun. :D

ok, i'm through bitching for now. haha!




mood: tired
listening to: dancing in the street - sister act 2

blogging in chinese

discovered THIS chinese inputting software online. so, blogging in chinese today! :D sorry to those who don't read chinese. :p the next time i blog will be in english. *promise*

今天是年初一。没做什么大事。在家懒着。哈哈！找到这东西能写华文字，瞒好玩的。好旧没在电脑里打字了。有点难，因为不请楚要写些什么。好旧没写什么华文事了。我想，以近要两年多没读华文了，现在还能这样 blog 很不错。

anyway，早上早早起来上教堂。好想不去，在家里多睡一下。昨晚回谷来好累。可是妈妈不让就是不让。真不懂为什么硬硬要上教堂。改次去会死meh？也不是说不去。只是去迟一点的。不让就是不让。

昨天早起等 uncle wah 来载我们上去。等了一整天，他三，四点那样才到达新加坡。还好 woodlands 没太久塞车。customs 很慢。大该是因为最近那问提，新加坡人上去新山没chop passport。现在就比较小心了。不然被arrest就残了。不用回家吃团元反了。我们没问题过customs。进马来西呀，跟一年前风竟什么也没变。uncle wah 说在马来西呀驾车其实是不比怕迷路。驾了一次就会认路了。

进谷来下雨。 唉呀！ 只怕有沿水。 还好我们到婆婆家时雨已经停了。那时大该是六点多了。要等 uncle kim lu 和 syn－syn 到。听说他们的飞机有delay。坐在婆婆家看点电视。

晚上去 uncle wah 的家。太久没去了。uncle wah 接我和弟弟时，drop off 时，我们认不出他家是哪间。可是总之，看到婶婶就跑去哪间。：） 大家到起时，小孩一桌， 大人一桌。好笑啊！我和表弟二十岁最老的还跟着十岁表弟妹们一起。of course，凯权，凯年 拿了饭就跑掉， 不懂去了哪里。哎呀， 让他们lor。我随便，陪他们在小孩桌。能吃就行了啦。叫弟弟peel prawn。 我们全吃饱了， 他只 peel 好两条 prawn。 真是的。今年应该教他怎么 peel。it＇s a useful skill。以后如果要带女朋友吃海鲜怎么办？ 哈哈！

吃饱了，长辈看电视，小的在房间里＂赌博＂。不懂在玩什么。我呢，anti－social 的坐在一边看书。in my defence， 它是本很 interesting 的书。放不下的那种。

要到十二点了。出去外面看到邻居在树上挂炮。那种很traditional的炮。 等到初一exact 就点炮了！哇！ 好大声啊！真想人在打枪一样的声音。还好。等到那个完了，他们就从屋里拉去一大箱子，点火。。。啊！这是 familiar 的火炮。每次 national day 看到的那些。从来没那么进看炮。有点吓人。那些炮简直是在头上 explode 的。好可怕哦。邻居一盒放完了，又拉出多一箱！总共有四箱火炮。整街一片烟。好smokey。改天我会放 video 在 youtube。是的，我那么没时做，film 了那东西。可是，这总类的事，在新加坡是看不到的。好幸运能在＂家乡＂看到。what an experience！

uncle wah 又送我们回新加坡。不懂好像他要去 chinatown 走走拜拜。没什么 interesting 东西发生。我在车上睡着了。每天在１５１睡，我已经哪里可以睡了。哈哈！新加坡 customs 有点慢。其怪。早晨一点半怎么还会那么慢呢？anyway，回到家了！好爽。可以好好睡了。大该两点半那样到家。冲凉，吃点夜宵。三点睡！真的好累。

ok，辛苦打出了这个 blog。新加坡表弟刚刚来我家过夜。该去呼他了。bye！

endless night

take a look and listen to this song. it's called "endless night" from the Lion King musical. the lyrics are already so meaningful. i just found this video on youtube and reading the comments, i found out that the singer, jason raize, had commited suicide in 2004. and, it's ironic, he sang such a powerful song of hope, of redemption and salvation after a darkness, and yet, it seems that he could not fight against his own feelings. i don't know why he killed himself, but somehow, it seems like the dawn never came for him.


Where has the starlight gone?
Dark is the day
How can I find my way home?

Home is an empty dream
Lost to the night
Father, I feel so alone

You promised you'd be there
Whenever I needed you
Whenever I call your name
You're not anywhere

I'm trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare

When will the dawning break
Oh endless night
Sleepless I dream of the day

When you were by my side
Guiding my path
Father, I can't find the way

You promised you'd be there
Whenever I needed you
Whenever I call your name
You're not anywhere

I'm trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare

I know that the night must end
And that the sun will rise
And that the sun will rise

I know that the clouds must clear
And that the sun will shine
And that the sun will shine

I know that the night must end
And that the sun will rise
And that the sun will rise
I know that the clouds must clear
And that the sun will shine
And that the sun will shine
(Repeat to end)

I know
Yes, I know
The sun will rise
Yes, I know
I know
The clouds must clear

I know that the night must end
I know that the sun will rise
And I'll hear your voice deep inside

I know that the night must end
And that the clouds must clear
The sun
The sun will rise
The sun
The sun will rise

cynicism

i've been blogsurfing. (data collection for EL3216, not just blind surfing). and part of the collection is to find undergrad blogs from NUS. now, reading other people's blogs about nus, i can't help but wonder, why do they like NUS so much??!?!!? quite a few foreigner blogs talking about NUS and wanting to come here etc etc. WHY??!?!??!

i've been in nus for the past 2 years. t-o-r-t-u-r-e. is it because i don't live on campus? why is it that i just can't bring myself to like the school the way i like all my other schools? everyone says, hey, you're in nus? so cool! you so lucky. and i'm like, yeah right. let me transfer elsewhere and i'll do it.

what's all the hype? i don't understand.




mood: cynical, confused.
listening to: i swear - all 4 one

nothing much

not much's been going on. so just blogging for the sake of blogging. haha!

joseph's and howard's birthday the other day. imagine. 2 'significant' guys in my life and they share the same birthday. how interesting is that?! had lunch with joseph at gecko. *sweet* :D

mid term is fast approaching. SO FAST!!!!!! lagging in my readings, lagging in my project. feels especially guilty for NM2216. our project for that one keeps getting such poor response. it's the lecturer lah. she's letting her personal feelings get in the way of being impartial and seeing what a nice invention our dream machine is.

got no motivation whatsoever to study. it's sad. i feel lagging so badly that i don't even know when my mid terms are. it's only a matter of time when i go into a lecture and discover that i'm supposed to be having a midterm exam. damn.

going to sing in a small ensemble for VV. D-I-E. have to quickly go learn and memorise the songs before adyll blows his top again.

and VV is coming and i still feel lagging in my stuff to do for logistics. i seriously don't know what i'm supposed to be handling and what is on the level of iris. *bangheadonwall*

was reading some other people's blogs. and i realise that st stephen really SUCKS. not that i didn't realise it earlier. i just only really really realised it. why fr khoo doesn't realise it is a mystery to me. why doesn't he stop to contemplate why his formerly large and strong youth group has now dwindled to numbers that you can count off on 2 hands? if it wasn't for the parents, i wouldn't go there anymore.

tried to try out Ubuntu yesterday. but of course, it didn't work. booted with the cd and stared at the screen for 2 hours and nothing happened. don't know if it hanged or what.

life sucks.

to end off on a happier note...let me publicise my fanfiction that i wrote. :D proud of that one, even though it's a sad story.




mood: blah
listening to: nothing.

look at this:

is that cool or what?!

this is cool

i looked up "El Espinazo del Diablo" - The Devil's Backbone, on imdb. this quote from it is really cool:


What is a ghost?
A tragedy condemned to repeat itself time and again?
An instant of pain, perhaps.
Something dead which still seems to be alive.
An emotion suspended in time.
Like a blurred photograph.
Like an insect trapped in amber.


quite true don't you think?

see what a time waster i am

i made my first ever animated avatar. (blogger enlarged it so it's a bit blur)
haha!




mood: time wasting
listening to: neighbour yelling

complain complain complain

i'm back. not much to talk about i think. just a regular school week. lots of walking up and down and up and down FASS. do you know how HUGE the bloody school is??! for eg, on tuesday (i think it was tuesday) after lecture, i was walking around to find a place to sit to eat. from LT14, to the forum, to AS1. still no seats. then walk all the way over to LT13 area. still no seats. then walk all the way back to forum. finally found a seat. then sumi called to say they're at eusoff hall. so walk all the way back over there. *sigh* AND THEN. thursday. i take 151 to school. walk over to AS4 for class. after class, walk to megabites to buy lunch. then went to the forum. about to start eating then i realise...i forgot to take utensils. *fallover* so...walk back to megabites to grab utensils *embarrassed* no wonder those dumb cashiers were looking at me so weirdly when i paid for my food. they might have TOLD me that i forgot to take utensils. anyway. sat at LT11 to eat. then, went back to forum for nm2216 meeting which i found out that they had found a table over at LT14. so went there. after that, rushed back over to AS5 for class. and then after class, dashed over to CFA for choir. muahahahaha! my dream machine - a teleporter. :D

been very distracted regarding schoolwork. the only thing that i am up to date with is NM2216. i wonder why. all the other readings are badly lagging, especially EL2102. EL3201 is also just as bad. she goes at a chapter per lecture and her chapters are ginormous. lucky the other 2 modules don't have set textbooks. just handout readings. up to date with my El3216 data collection. yay! but i got the feeling my data is a little skewed. the sample that i took it from is not that large. i've got my 25k words of data but...don't know lah. i'll think about it.

jonathan's birthday yesterday. they called us over at 10.30pm to go cut cake. he had a nice cake. swensen's cookie and cream ice cream cake. :D at 10.30 at night, ice cream is nice!! the frozen peach on top was damn cold lah. but shiok. haha! haven't eaten ice cream cake in ages. found one of those wooden figurines at their house. found out what it's called. gestalt human model. i wanna buy two for myself to 'play' with. it cost $18 each at ikea.


although aunty jaynus said that i could take over the one at their house, i don't much fancy that, cos it's missing an arm and a leg is falling out of its socket (courtesy of my boisterous destructive cousins). but had fun with it yesterday when i was there. so i wanna get some of my own.

more complaints...i'm trying to get my bluetooth on my comp to work. i mean, it's working but...like now, i want to move photos from my phone into the comp. but i can't see the photos here, not the pictures from the 'photos' folder. i can see the photos from the 'download' folder though. so actually it IS working...so...aiya. don't know lah. i resisted installing the samsung PIM software cos i thought the bluetooth would work this time. (it worked when i had to send stuff over to theo the last time. but...it just hates my phone. damn. looks like i'll have to intall the PIM suite afterall.

an interesting clay update. he's put up this thing in his blog, kind of a challenge to his claymates...he wants us to cook up a juicy scandal involving him. he's saying how the tabloids are trying to create scandalous stuff about him to throw on the front pages, "Yet, for all of their efforts to be on the "cutting edge" and the forefront of bull$#@& journalism, it seems that some of them may be running out of ideas and resorting to recycling and re-hashing some of their older tall tales. How sad!? With this in mind, we thought maybe we would try to give them a finger.... er.. a hand." i think he's completely lost it liao. he's actually ASKING people to create a scandal about him??! btw, clay's idea of scandal seems kind of skewed. his suggestions were: "me being "abducted by oversized turnips"... or ... "video" of me "dancing with a three legged gorilla"." how WONDERFULLY scandalous clay. *rolls eyes* unfortunately, the scandal that i think would be the most convincing and scandalous would be those already out there. about the gay rumours. or maybe about him having a hot one night stand with britney spears and/or having a illegitimate child. and to think he's actually ASKING people to think up stuff like that. crazy.

but then, it's been quite interesting publicity. THIS SITE actually talks about it, saying he's found a clever way of showing the tabloids that he doesn't care about what they do to him on the front page. so...what do you think? *shrugs*

V day is coming. changed my blogskin. not because of the occasion lah. it's cos i was a little bored with the old one. haha! but this one is pretty too. anyway...back to the topic. V day is coming. whoopie (in a simon cowell tone). probably going to spend it rushing out project proposal. apparently there's one due on that day. and data collection due on the next day. :p i actually wonder where did V day come from? why celebrate it? is it just a day invented by loving couples all around the world to the chagrin of lonely singles like me? see how cynical i am. there's stuff happening round school. about selling flowers and brownies and such like that. oh well. maybe i'll buy one for myself. hidden cynicism. i don't know what this paragraph is about. just rambling on and on and on.




mood: cold (bloody wind blowing like it's the end of the world)
listening to: i will be here - clay aiken

interesting day

today was very interesting. not to say it was VERY good, but it was interesting.

first, church. arrived there at 9am and saw a bunch of the chinese group people standing outside. so i assumed they have their own activity or something, which was true, later on they were taking photos for some reason. anyway, and then, went up to the main hall. AND THERE WAS NO POWER. yup. the fan wouldn't on, the organ wouldn't on. didn't panic yet cos it happened before and it was fixed in no time. so, anyway, in the mean time, used the piano (more on the piano later). anyway, then, later, andrea and elvin came in. and elvin informed me that there had been a power outage since 8.30 that morning. and it was sudden to the point where they conducted a fire drill just in case. so here's us thinking, oh my god!!! so crappy. and...guess who an important group of people who were not informed about the power outage. the lectors. so there was me telling the animator that IF the mic has no power then we won't cantor the psalm. and he's going, huh? there's no power? and this was 5 minutes before mass was starting. so the whole mass no power, no mics, no fan, no light. do you know how hot it is in there without the fan? lucky it wasn't like blazing outside.

and...the piano. now i understand that maybe the power outage caused the heater of the piano to not work either. but the way the piano behaved just now was as good as the heater not existing at all. it was practically impossible to play that thing. it was out of tune (not very badly to the untrained ear) and the keys stuck. like we'd press a note hard and the key doesn't bounce back up. you know how annoying that is? so i stood at the side and helped daryl to 'reset' the keys after they were pressed. the poor guy apparently had a hard time trying to help me when i did the "happiness is the lord" apparently cos i was playing the left hand very complicatedly for him to reset. the bloody piano. if we have to use it on a regular basis, i volunteer to call in someone to fix it and i volunteer to cover the cost. geez. can we be a little professional? on hindsight, at least the piano, albeit screwed up, is there. imagine if there was totally no music at all? time for me to start bringing my pitch pipe on a regular basis again.

anyway. that was the morning. then later, went to the esplanade to sing at vocal consort's concert. that was FUN!!! the concert was a blast. think about it. full house at esplanade concert hall. woah! wish we could sing there instead. hehe. cost a bomb for sure tho. had serious case of deja vu in the dressing room. i swear i dreamt that place before. it was a very small room, probably supposed to be for 3 people (judging from the number of mirrors and dressing tables). nice place tho, just like a hotel room. only thing missing was a bed. there was even an attached bathroom with shower. how cool is that?

the stage was a little scary. adyll was right, you can really hear yourself practically loud and clear. and it didn't help that suddenly i could hear kirsten very loudly and clearly either. i kept thinking and hoping, please let me stay on key, please stay on key. especially for 'walk through the valley'. that was the really s-c-a-r-y one. cos it's slow and soft. i kept thinking i was singing too loud. hopefully not. adyll said it was good. so. :D 'te deum' was not too bad. I SCREWED UP. shit. i coughed out loud in the middle of the song. NOT GOOD!!! and i was standing in the middle of the row. AND i was in the freaking front row. fuck!!!!!! damn i really gotta get rid of this pesky cough asap. but lucky nelson didn't seem to react to me so...*fingers crossed* hate it when i screw up like that and i was trying real hard not to. sigh.

was forced to stay back and attend the rest of the concert. i mean...it wouldn't have been so bad if we had been allowed to change back to our normal clothes. it wouldn't have been so bad if we were given seats that were not so exposed. i mean, we were allocated seats in the gallery BEHIND the choir and stage. so it's like, the audience sees VC and right behind them is us. *jaw drops* so we all had to be on our best behaviour. which is not to say that a few people fell asleep during the concert. the 2nd half concert was better than the first as in, they had livelier songs. the john rutter collection, the choir came out wearing little cutsie childish outfits and carrying toys. even nelson came out carrying a teddy bear which he carefully placed behind the podium making it face the audience. damn cute lah. zofia had a solo! nicely done.

alrighty. moving on. i discovered this interesting site yesterday, (slide.com) and i was playing with it. it allows you to create picture slide shows to put on your website. take a lookie at MYSPACE to see it.

ok, all for now. haven't done much work this weekend. *guilty feeling* back to school tomorrow.

just something i saw online

Death is an angel
with two faces:

To us he turns a
face of terror,
blighting all things fair;

The other burns with
the glory of stars,
and Love is there.

slackerific

seeing as i still got another 2 hours before tutorial starts...

sigh. school's gotten into full swing. tutorials starting, lectures getting under way, choir starting to get in gear. i don't remember what i blogged about the last time so i'll just smoke my way through here and hope i don't repeat stuff (which i'm sure i will do).

sumi had another performance last thursday at the forum this time. it wasn't bad lor. guess who was there? jonathan leong! haha! saw him up close, maybe not personal, but saw him anyway. if i can describe him in one word, that word will be "howard". haha! ok, technically that's not a word, it's a name. but, then again, he reminds me of that guy. just the way he dress, the way he walks around and all that. pure howard. anyway. he was singing along when sumi was singing. :D hear that sumi?! means he was enjoying himself!! means you were good!!

finally got round to reformatting my computer. thanks to WW for helping me. and he helped me to get back all the programmes and stuff too. i really really appreciate it. contrast to that totally unhelpful attitude of that comp center staff. but anyway, it's working so well now. kinda. i mean, the previous booting time of 5 minutes has drastically reduced to less than 5 seconds. so happy. :D using itunes now. they got the video function. :D yay! but had to convert all my videos to mpeg format for it to work. haven't gotten round to converting the clack, but...soon.

met up with theo on friday. she was going all ga-ga over clack as usual. fun time. first time going into the TP library. quite a nice place. i liked their study tables. it's like, little personalised desks rather than one long table for all to share. it's more private. and their discussion rooms are actually soundproof. thinks of the 'chat points' in nus central lib that are NOT soundproof. so technically it's a 'whisper point'.

saturday had rehersal with vocal consort. adyll was very pissed with us. :( said we sang badly and had very bad attitude. but nelson said that we were technically ok. saw shi yun and zofia. miss those two girls. te deum is gonna be a blast. almost 100 strong choir lor. :D i'm going to buy the recording this year. i want a copy of te deum. had lost my voice on friday but recovered enough by saturday to sing a bit. really have to stop straining my voice else i won't have sound for this sunday performance. that's more important than the rehersals.

church. i screwed up the psalm for last sunday cos i prepared the wrong psalm. lucky i found out early. else we'd be SO screwed if we went up to the altar and started to sing the wrong psalm. that would be a disaster. cos at least, lectors, if they read wrong, can just turn to the right one and read, but cantors, can't just turn to another one and sing from scratch. but also, luckily, dawn came and passed me the psalm book for this year!! yay!!!!! no more needing to compose the psalm and adapt from the old ones. but the downside is, this book is the 'official one' but it's damn boring. it's all plain chant. it's very very easy tho. just boring. andrea managed to learn her next week's one in less than 10 minutes i think.

and...i got a new picture on my msn that's very controversial. and i think a lot is to do with my msn nick: "giggling-dangerous-totally-bloody-psychotic-menace-to-life-and-limb". so people have been contacting me online and saying, "irene, what are you doing to the poor duck?!" well, i have only this to say: "it's not my duck and it's not me holding the duck!!"

ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, i present, THE DUCK:

lol!




mood: sleepy, lethargic, lazy
listening to: think of me - mark schultz, rachel lampa

bored in school

here i am sitting in school feeling bored and not wanting to study. so, i'll just blog a bit.

last night i watched "the arena". it's this new debating programme on 5. well...it's not as formal debating as formal debate. more informal. there's only 3 speakers anyway. it's like a reality tv show, debate style. anyway, i watched it last night. the topic was: Are youths these days motivated by self-centeredness alone. IJ St Nicholas vs MGS. i'm not going to comment on the arguments. cos it's not my place to comment on that. i've just got one thing to say. yesterday, the debate was kind of illogical to me because IJ was operating and arguing on a almost completely different definition of 'self-centeredness' compared to MGS. so, think about what happens. IJ starts arguing in favour of their own definition and MGS argues in their own little universe. and when 2 so different universes clash, there's not much that can be gleamed from it. weird. anyway, yesterday, i was seeing them based on the strength of their speaking. MGS was stronger. the IJ speakers are not. which is strange seeing as IJ is academically stronger. but then...MGS is stronger in terms of elocution.

i like NM2216. so far. it's fun. the other day in lecture, kevin mcgee was taking the class. we were seeing stuff like computer games (Zork) and music. we found out that kevin mcgee hates ABBA but loves those techno, ethnic rock sounds. he played bhangra music. then, the assignments are quite cool too. i mean, which other class asks you to document the steps involved in playing your handphone ringtone. and the latest assignment, he asked us to play with a paint programme and think about how we can make word-processing software user interactive enough to let users play with more of the features. fun. :D

been listening to some other music. i find that barbra streisand is quite cool. in terms of singing. her acting in "meet the fockers" is SO cute!! anyway, she's got a great voice. first heard her when i discovered "sunset boulevard", the "as if we never said goodbye". then in "hello dolly". she's one of those old time diva queens. they don't make singers like her anymore. it's an era thing, like film stars. go listen!! haha!




mood: sleepy
listening to: the music that makes me dance - barbra streisand

when i was bored today...

i recorded myself singing:

just audio. don't laugh. i reserve the right to laugh for myself.

here i come again

oh well, here i am again. :D so, wassup with my life? long post so...get comfy.

went with andrew for sumi's performance the other day at the esplanade. it was fun! met howard at aljunied mrt. that guy never change sia. anyway, sumi's performance. we went early but there was already so many people there. so we were stuck right in front of the speakers. oh my poor ears. but it was an EXPERIENCE. i never attended a performance at an outdoor venue like this before. i have also never heard a proper resonance performance before.

so anyway, sumi's group came first. sumi's solo was not bad. very sweet voice she has!!! just need to be more confident. but i think, in the circumstances, it was very well done. :Dduring sumi's solo, there was this thing flying through the sky. to me it looked like a stray firework, except that there was no reason for a firework to be around at that point. plus, it took a very long time to clear the tentage, which was quite unusual. so we were thinking, aliens? missiles? shooting stars? the end of the world is nigh? but anyway, later found out that it was some weather phenomenon. damn.

the second reso group...well, that group was more entertaining, cos they did choreo and stuff like that. BUT the cost of the choreo was that vocal quality was lower than sumi's group. so...just depends on what you value more.

moving on. school started. sigh. let's go by order of module.

EN3242 History of Film. that was ok. the class is very very very small. and the room was supposed to be at AS7, but dr wee managed to change the venue somewhere more pleasant. well, this is an interesting module, she showed us clips of the first films made. the ridiculous way they exploded a motorcar compared to the wonderful explosion seen in xmen. anyway, this module is not bad, but i thinking to drop it cos i don't think i can cope with the lecturer expectations. she's expecting us to write up to the standard of 3rd year lit majors. and frankly, i CAN'T do that. call me silly, i don't care. i think that this is going to be a very heavy workload. and since i can drop it if i wanna...we'll see.

NM2216 Introduction to Interactive Media. the main lecturer, dr daniella, she reminds me of that uli from project runway. she's from germany and has the exact accent as uli. well...first impression of dr daniella is that she's not a good lecturer. :p bad. and feedback from someone who has taken the module confirms the opinion, and even went on to report that she used to clash very badly with her previous assistant lecturer, even stopping to argue with the assistant during lecture. not a good recommendation. anyway, there's a different assistant lecturer this sem. dr(?) kevin mcgee. he seems to know what he's doing. and daniella seems to be singing his praises all the time. he took the first lecture and will be doing quite a bit of the technical stuff. it was interesting. i think i'm gonna stick with this one. :D

EL2102 Structure of sounds and words. well, what can i say. let's start with the lecturer. bao zhi ming. from an angle, he looks like nelson kwei. i'm serious. he's got the same round chubby thingy look. i can so imagine nelson in his position. and he's teaching all those things about how sound is created cos of whatever mechanism etc etc. but, nice lecturer as i think he is, i have no idea what he's doing. he went through lecture yesterday and well...it seems ok, but i don't know what to take down. he just rattles on. it's interesting but it's just...different teaching style lah. and cos his is a very very technical topic. face it, nothing is more technical than studying how sounds are produced. so yesterday he was going through all those physical structures that enable the production of sound. reminds me of terence and aunty mary in their voice classes. boring like hell.

EL3216 Language and the Internet. I WANT TO DROP THIS MODULE!!!!!!! ok, i'll say that the lecturer is nice. vincent ooi. it's a minature class size. kind of like comp lab sessions. he said that this is more of a research module than anything. reason i wanna drop this module is cos the workload is killing. there's an individual project and presentation, regular presentations in class and a group project to do, on top of our regular class work which will consist of a lot of real time research and analysis. and i hate having to talk in class. this year i'm being forced to do so cos the lecturers are all quite strict about class participation and have already threatened to hand out zeros in class participation. damn. anyway, back to the subject. EL3216. jan and yulong are taking it too so at least i'm not totally alone. chih lin is also taking this but the thursday class. sigh. bad luck. wish she was taking tuesday with me. anyway, despite all my complaining, i can't really drop the module cos i need it to make up my major. yuck.

EL3254 Media Discourse and Society. dr lazar at first impression seemed to me to be a very soft spoken easy bullied lady. BUT she's a little chilli padi in disguise. even more chilli padi than mdm yew was. she's tough, no nonsense type. which is nice. but then, she's the one that threatened zero in class participation so...not that good. ok, this module, also got heavy work. it's kind of a student led teaching style, so means presentation. me, joseph, chih lin and shelby were unlucky enough to be assigned a topic quite late in the semester. we were aiming for a week 4 or week 6 presentation but...:p at least, as joseph pointed out, the presentation is not near the time of VV. anyway, this module seems to be ok. according to how dr lazar introduced it just now, it seems to be an extension of cultural studies and that other EN module...forgot the title. so, i think it's manageable.

i think this sem, it's the EL modules that are going to kill me. i already feel overwhelmed. geez. this sem's going to be hell on earth. what with the choir stuff to settle, these are my major modules leh!! i'm already doing so badly for everything. sigh. why do we need to have to settle on a single major anyway? why can't i just do a general degree in arts? i'm so much happier that way. and arts degree doesn't really mean anything in the working world anyway. what industry other than teaching values a BA in Linguistics? i think i'm going to try out syntax tomorrow with joseph. hopefully it's like 2101 kind of easy. then, i'll drop EN. or maybe be a 'shadow' student in the class. haha! at least, i can hurry up with my major requirements. i'm so far behind. and me dreaming of going SEP next sem too. have to finish as much as i can as soon as possible.

on the subject of SEP. su hui's gone over to NC liao for her SEP. lucky girl. go and see HER BLOG!! NC looks like England. sigh. me and the girls saw her online just now and were going more than a little crazy talking her. imagine, 4 msn conversations going on at the same time, on the same computer. haha! but it was a good time. i miss the time when we all gathered together to play and laugh and giggle together. so, today was nice. dh wasn't there tho. damn. never mind, next time. tried out the western food at the makeshift canteen. btw, the makeshift canteen is so useless. it's so small. it's impossible to accommodate the number of students in arts. which probably explains why the arts fac is suddenly so empty except in between lectures. the corridor is so empty literally it's empty.

helped choir to distribute fliers yesterday. saw mr pang walking along. guess what he said. he walked pass and i gave him a flier, he looks at it and then exclaims, "wah! you still in choir ah?" *speechless* what do i say after a statement like that??? what? you think nelson managed to scare away everyone from choir? i haven't even seen nelson since that buddhist thing at the indoor stadium. so technically...nus choir isn't exactly under his express guidance. lol! he just shows up at concerts and takes the glory.

anyway, i just finished reading "gone with the wind". omg!!!! that book!!! it's very very good. a real classic. everyone should read it. i mean, the movie is so famous, the book should be too. it's such a good book. now i know exactly about scarlett and rhett. omg that was such a romantic romantic story. scarlett is so...tough and yet soft underneath all her impropriety. and melanie. sometimes i wanna slap her to wake her up to the reality of things, but anyway. like i said, the book is really good. 4.5 out of 5 stars. docked of half star cos it is very very long and it started off a little slow. it's been a while since i read a book quite like this. :D

and talking about books and stories. i've started to put up my new clone fic on the GCA board. hee! i got my own universe now, so exciting stuff. but for me it's scary cos i don't know if i can live up to expectations. i'm almost done with this current story but not quite. see, i'm breaking my rule not to start posting until i finish. anyway, like i said, i'm almost done, and hopefully by the time my posting reaches up to my typing, i'll be done with it by then. interesting hobby this is. yes. (think yoda accent)

i'm going to refrain from talking about church for a while cos we're kind of undergoing a change. so, until i settle down there...silence on that front.

now, a friend i know was talking about blogs on her blog. she was talking about basically, why is it that people like to blog so much? and like it to the point where they keep multiple blogs all over the place. btw, i'm guilty of such a thing. i have blogs (yes, blogs in plural) on blogger, at myspace, on multiply, and i used to have one at livejournal (which i think has long since shut itself down due to neglect). but then again, the content of the blogs are exactly the same. cos i can't be bothered to type different stuff for different blogs. so, any of my blogs you go to, you'll see the same entries. (except my other blogger one which is a secret) anyway, and i like to read blogs also cos it helps me to keep in touch with people. like my friend over in england. if not for her blog, i wouldn't have kept in touch with her at all. i want to keep in touch with people but i suck at picking up a phone and formally asking on friends. so, a blog is the best way. it's so much better than reading someone's profile page on friendster or something. i mean, i can tell you from personal experience, people like me, NEVER update their profiles. so, it's not reliable. and just looking at profiles is just not enough to consider being in touch with the person.

and...well...ya so, the other question why do people like to blog? for me, i started blogging way at the height of the blogging era, a few years back and have been blogging regularly ever since. i guess for me, (well, apart from the fact that it's become an addiction) i like to blog cos well, it helps me to get down what's happening in my life, kind of like a channel to air my thoughts since i don't like to speak it out and got no one to speak it out to anyway. i mean, can you imagine, if i started to talk about everything i just talked about above? won't you just walk away in boredom? anyway, personally, people who read my blog and know me in real life have commented that i have an online alter ego that pops up and takes over my fingers when i blog. so...for me, blogging is a way of letting of steam and saying things that i will not say in real life. it's kind of like an outlet probably. i worry less about offending people in virtual reality as opposed to offending them in real life. i know, not good. but i don't really care. (btw, i DO exercise restraint when i'm slamming or bitching people which as you may notice, i don't do often) and another reason i like blogs more than writing paper diary these days is cos i type faster than write. or rather, i'm lazy to write. it takes less effort for me to type. hehe! my typing speed can match up to my stream of consciousness.

anyway, i'm forgetting what else i want to blog about. so...till next time then.




mood: content
listening to: adonai - avalon

crazy

you know how americans love to decorate their houses with lights during the holiday season? well, this guy is a *little* over the top don't you think? watch and see:


and to reply to nick's comment some posts back, well, it's a long and twisted story that i don't think i can really tell here. so, rather you all don't ask about it.

and it's back to school tomorrow. so, farewell mes amies, for the time being.





mood: good mood :D
listening to: nothing

modules!!

i've gotten my modules!

EL2102 - Structure of sounds and words
EL3254 - Media, Discourse and Society
EL3216 - Language and the Internet
EN3242 - History of Film
NM2216 - Introduction to Interactive Media

All that i had initially planned for. lectures only, i have a 3 day week. muahahahaha! and actually, if only my two planned friday tutorials could move to wednesday, then i'd have a bona fide 3 day week. (not counting choir) muahahahahahaha!

anyway, i'm gonna D-I-E on mondays. know why? cos i start at 12. 12-4pm EN3242. 4-6pm NM2216. 6.30-9.30pm Choir. 12pm to 9.30pm practically non-stop. good luck to me sia.

it's gonna be a wild ride!

sem2 here i come!!!!



mood: hyper
listening to: distant sounds of traffic

i love this song ---->

Everything I Have

by Clay Aiken

album: A Thousand Different Ways (2006)

I feel like I never measure up to who you see
Sometimes I think I can't give you all the love you need
You keep changing everyday
Amazing me in everyway.

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything I have

I never dreamed I could ever feel the way I do
I hope and pray I will always be enough for you
I can only do my best
I have to trust you with the rest

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything I have

I promise I will hold you through the changes and fears
When life seems unclear
And when I can't be right there with you
I know there's angels by your side

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands
I can only give you everything... I have

update!

i'm kinda lazy to blog, but then again, i'm lazy to do anything at all so might as well get started on it.

alrighty, and it's another year gone by. seems like such a long time ago. time for a quick review of the past year and events. i don't even remember what's happened last year but here goes anyway:
- became leader of the church choir.
- gotten an F (*ouch*) for the first time in my life.
- skipped tutorials on purpose :p (my profs better not read this)
- sang buddhist songs
- attended latin workshop
- worked in a real office
- snuck out to buy clack. *heehee*
- wrote a fan fic
- spent the most time ever with a guy
- took 2 maths modules in a single sem. (god help me. never again.)

but anyway, that was last year. as usual at the beginning of the year, time for resolutions and stuff that i may or may not keep. i don't remember last year's resolutions and can't be bothered to go look it up.
this year, i resolve to:
- study harder and get a CAP of 3.5 and above.
- be marginally more healthy and lose 10kg.
- spend a little less time on clack. or rather...be more balanced in virtual reality life and real life.
- be more independent and confident of myself.

moving on. the feast day was...well lets say it could have gone off a whole lot better. i think the biggest problem was because there was no proper rehersal. i mean, in retrospect... it's not realistic to expect a perfect performance when it's been a collaboration of at least 3 different church organisations that have never worked together before. with that in mind...benedict and andrea's "When You Believe" went off ok. the choir coordination was alright. then...the sound guy turned off the recording. WHY??!?!?!?!!?! that's when it all started to screw up. cos there the nuns were standing on the stage and no music. see, this is what happens when there's no rehersal. so, i think in the end, fr paul led them to do acapella sister act. *rolls eyes* then, the dance. now, THIS one went off not too bad in rehersal. BUT at the actual performance, suddenly they were blowing smoke and bubbles and everyone was on stage at the same time. confusion reigned. the smoke was so thick and stinky and couldn't hear the music clearly. geez. and then at the end, george was like, "open the banner! OPEN THE BANNER!!!" and well, yes, he did tell me before that we got a banner to do during the finale. BUT he never told me where's the banner, nor exactly when or how to do it. so i was like, "what?! where's the bloody banner?!" ok, i admit, partly it's my fault for not asking the right questions about it. thing to learn about this, when you put together a bunch of people who don't do performances like this every single night, or on a regular basis, rehersals are a must. and not just rehersal of single items in isolation, but a full run of the entire performance.

anyway, and then, i didn't exactly know what i was supposed to be doing after that. went to find aunty margaret who told me to go sit down. so, went. baby was so cute that day. :D she was taking those ticket/sticker things and sticking it on everyone. she would take the sticker, stick it on my shoulder, then pat it to make it stick. SO CUTE!!! then dad took her to go walk walk (cos our table was in a very very bad position - in between the range of 2 tents and their fans. ie, in a no air zone. damn hot. anyway. dad took her for a walk, then brought her to the stage to put in the donation. george saw her and asked her to do some stuff. i love me my lil coz! aunty brenda was saying that janice looks exactly like me when i was her age. *hee* i'll post a photo to compare soon. :D

but then, dinner ended on a bad note. ah ma practically fainted about 3/4 way through dinner. imo, it was the heat plus the wine she was drinking. so, had to leave early to send her back. but anyway, she went to see doc the next day. they say it was high blood pressure is all. as much as i find ah ma darn annoying most times...don't want anything to be wrong with her lah. she's coming round later to go for her follow up check up. hope everything's ok.

moving on to more happy stuff. i watched "my fair lady" on arts central the other night. I LOVE IT!!! 4 out of 5 stars. it's the version of the "pygmalion" (or however it's supposed to be spelt). anyway the story is that some linguistics professor, prof higgins, makes a bet that he can pass of a common flower girl (eliza doolittle) into a lady at an embassy ball in 6 months purely by changing the way she speaks. as in, changing her common low class accent into a high class accent. it was so funny, the way she was trying to learn how to pronounce her vowels. and learning not to drop her "H"s to the point where she accidentally set her notes on fire. and she was so scared of the prof that she didn't dare to stop to put out the fire. actually i think the prof higgins is such a self righteous pompous bastard. he was just using eliza to achieve his own gains. he treated her like an object all the time. like eliza said, "the difference between a flower girl and a lady is not how she behaves but how she is treated." *nodnod* yup. go watch it if you can, very funny and worth watching. audrey hepburn is SO PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

and then...mum's got a job. bets as to how long she'll last there. i bet 6 months at most. she's gotten a job as childcare teacher at some center in eunos. and already she made me and andrew and dad do a lot of the prepatory work for her. she should pay us. haha! anyway, like i predict, i don't think she'll last long cos, as sr joanna pointed out, this center is very VERY profit driven, and mum doesn't really like this attitude. anyway, we'll see.

nus stuff...well, gotten 3 modules already. 3 english modules anyway. hope i can cope. anyway, even if i can't, i have to cos that's my major. so...still got 2 more modules to bid for. i'm looking to go for history of film and a new media module. hope can get. currently i can get a free day. sort of free day. it's a thursday, which means, i'm free during the day then have to come back to school for choir in the evening. sucks. but then, a pseudo free day is better than no free day at all. :D

and it's time for advertising. announcing NUS CHOIR VARSITY VOICES 2007. concert is on 4th march with guest choir, the Vocal Consort. come k!! it's gonna be a great show. u can buy tickets from sistic or from me, when i get them. :D see you there!



mood: content
listening to: goodbye - spice girls